Divorcee because her husband cheated on her, Eva Longoria, reminds me of a story that just happened, cuz I have no attention span and/or memory and the best I can do is remember shit that just happened….
I was in line at the coffee shop in what seems like yesterday, but was actually today, and some bitch was complaining to her friend about her husband sucking at renovating their basement, she was bitching and bitching and bitching about how useless he was, until I said “if you really want to get back at him for being such a shitty husband, you should give me a blow job in the bathroom”…she didn’t laugh, it just made for awkward line waiting together, reminding me if you’re gonna say something like that, do it when you can escape, not when 10 people are in line ahead of you…She shoulda just given me a blowjob….
Either way, here’s Eva Longoria’s ass in a not quite tight enough dress, making a decent bounce back from marriage, unlike most mexi chicks I know who leave that shit obeses and with 4 dozen babies….
Julianne Hough. Ryan Seacrests new project who he pretends he is dating to cover up his gay in the public eye, since people don’t like gays in middle America and he’s the new Dick Clark and needs to cater to everyone and can’t afford to have no one watch his wholesome programming he produces, that is far worse that homosexuality, like “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” if they knew….or maybe I’m wrong…maybe we don’t live in a society of gay hating like Rock Hudson did, but maybe the only person who hates gays and can’t embrace gays is Seacrest himself….but I figure anyone with frosted hair has got to be more into getting prostate massages with real penis than the strap-on he forces Julianne Hough to use in efforts to launch her career, but maybe he just hasn’t accepted that yet….
Seaking of Prostate…never tell a girl you want to fuck that her dad’s not a real man cuz cancer took his prostate and prostate is the defining organ of male even more so than a penis, and don’t try to prove your point with an analogy like a penis without a prostate is like a car without an engine…..cuz she will end up hating you…
Either way, here’s Julianne Hough not nearly naked enough, dating Seacrest makes her less inclined to do the natural whore steps to get to a place she wants to be, by going through the places we want her to be…all sex tape and vagina exposed….and you’d think even with Seacrest she would got there since it worked so well for him with Kim Kardashian making him millions…but really who fucking cares..
It is Halloween. So sending Tyra Banks to a school, where she presented to the leaders of tomorrow, in what was likely something the school thought was a good idea, you know informative from a person who has succeeded in the world, before realizing that Tyra is a fucking nut case , because they, along with everyone else in the world, never watched her daytime TV Show….was appropriate….
I have no idea what was said or what happened, but based on the facial expressions and outfit, it was a lot more scary than anything…
Which is too bad, because I’ve before she ever opened her mouth, and let the world know she has an uneducated annoying opinion, and no filter….that is often times disgusting….she was a Victoria’s Secret and SI half naked model…
Who is the bourgeois motherfuckers who say having a Soca Cruise / Raggaton/ hard grinding party in the city, by a large bucket that doubles as a pool is ghetto…I bet it is the same assholes the Occupy Wall Street motherfucers are protesting about, all rich wih real life pools and high class escorts…, where hot summer day partiess don’t require garden hose and hos….
People are insane…I got at least half an email about these Taylor Swift topless pictures floating around…only to get my hands on the pics to see that it is obviously not Taylor Swift..they just want it to be for traffic, scandal, excitement, etc…but it just isn’t her…
Sure she’s likely got STDs, she’s probably dirtier in bed than LeAnn Rimes the Christian lie is over edition, but she’s in the depths of a career people, she’s money making, wholesome, with a little girl fan base, and she’s hardly hot, erotic, or even tries to be remotely slutty….and you wouldn’t either if you realized your millions of dollars depend on being a good girl…even if John Mayer was ramming her up the fucking ass….
There is no way this is her, it hardly even looks like her, stop emailing me bullshit fantasy. No wait…I need your emails to feel relevant….
Here are some Britney in a recent concert performing half naked, because unlike Michael Jackson, she hasn’t died yet, even though she’s been close…her handlers put a stop to that amazing crazy from a few years ago, got her on meds, and threw her into slutty costumes where she does her dancing monkey act as her puppet masters profit from her….leading to another meltdown, but for now she’s showered, thick mom body half naked and clean…so take it in, cuz I’m sure it is temporary..obesity and real crazy is just around the corner…at least I hope cuz that’s when I liked her best…all white trash, crazy and coverted in cheeto dust…or as I like to call it — at her best…
Now all I can fantasize about is sniffing her outfits before they are burned or washed by her staff in that small window between end of show and cleaning up the show…all sweaty and tainted….
I can only hope that Courtney Cox is laying on her pussy like a teenage girl on the corner of her bed matteress, hoping to get a strong, consistent wave, hitting up on her cunt until she cums like it was David Arquette’s tongue….
Not that I like Courtney Cox or the idea of David Arquette in any capacity, especially not in a fucking bitches capacity..
I’m just a firm believer that if a bitch is on the beach, it’s gotta have some level of sex…..and in this full piece wet-suit…that I know she peed in to keep warm…is just not doing it….
I don’t know what’s going on here, but I like it…It looks like a TV mom and daughter are playing it up for the cameras the Sofia Vergara way…as slutty as possible to get guys to notice…cuz otherwise you just blend in with the millions of other illegals at the strip club trying to live the American dream….a good life lesson for a brat like Hyland to learn all while letting her half naked busty TV mom lean up on her half naked 21 year old who looks 12 ass…..for “daddy” to take the hot creepy picture….leading to so many good places in your mind…at least good in my mind….but probably creepy in reality…
Kat Denning is a fat cunt who eats too many donuts. I saw her on her shitty TV show and was like “shit, I don’t have enough TV for this fat big”…I was like “if she’s so broke, why the fuck she so fat”….cuz the broke bitches I know are turning tricks to pay for meth before buying fucking cakes, pizzas and whatever the fuck else this fatty shoves down her throat.
Kat Dennings is not just a fat cunt, shes also a cunt cunt…because not only did she try to sue me after I bought into her topless pic bullshit to get herself famous, using big tits, I am surprised her belly and ass caught up to already, usually that happens around 30….and she blocked me of twitter…even though I give her press because I guess she’d prefer if I gave her baked goods.
Fucking pig bitch is in fucking GQ, shot by Terry Richardson….showing tit cuz that’s all this fatty like so many fat chicks before her…reminding us it’s not a talent or something worth celebrating…it’s just a bi-product of being fat…you dumb twat…Totally uninteresting….I’m gonna assumed paid for by her shitty fucking, badly written, stupid concept of a show before her shit gets cancelled hard.
