Babes… Sofia Vergara Sultry Cleavetastic Cooking Hot for Chef Premiere

April 23rd, 2014

Sofia Vergara Cleavy in a White Dress at Chef Premiere in NYC Sofia Vergara Cleavy in a White Dress at Chef Premiere in NYC Sofia Vergara Cleavy in a White Dress at Chef Premiere in NYC Sofia Vergara Cleavy in a White Dress at Chef Premiere in NYC Sofia Vergara Cleavy in a White Dress at Chef Premiere in NYC Sofia Vergara Cleavy in a White Dress at Chef Premiere in NYC Sofia Vergara Cleavy in a White Dress at Chef Premiere in NYC

When it comes to red carpet competitions, I pity the poor woman who even attempts to keep up with Sofia Vergara. Between that veteran hot body, those twin fiestas of joy, and the experience to put it all together in one camera-attracting ball of must-shoot hotness, Sofia is really the queen of the red carpet hill. She’s an unstoppable force of the decked out sextastic, again at the premiere of Chef at the Tribeca Film Festival.

I have a feeling Sofia Vergara looks wicked hot and put together just going to take a tinkle in the morning. I might be projecting my dreams a bit, but she just always looks like a million bucks. Oh, to be the guy who gets to cinch up her blessedly bodacious top. Who I wouldn’t knock into the river to get that gig. Enjoy.



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Babes… Sara Malakul Lane Hot and Cleavy and Highly Suggestive in a White Body Suit

April 23rd, 2014

Sara Malakul Lane Shows Cleavage in a White Bodysuit for a Sexy Photoshoot Sara Malakul Lane Shows Cleavage in a White Bodysuit for a Sexy Photoshoot Sara Malakul Lane Shows Cleavage in a White Bodysuit for a Sexy Photoshoot Sara Malakul Lane Shows Cleavage in a White Bodysuit for a Sexy Photoshoot Sara Malakul Lane Shows Cleavage in a White Bodysuit for a Sexy Photoshoot Sara Malakul Lane Shows Cleavage in a White Bodysuit for a Sexy Photoshoot Sara Malakul Lane Shows Cleavage in a White Bodysuit for a Sexy Photoshoot

Sara Malakul Lane. Hmm, where have I heard that name before? Shaktopus! Only one of the best movies ever, made even better by Sara’s hot and bodacious female form. Now, the Thai-British actress is back and more boobtastic than ever in a photoshoot that seems to be interplaying water with human anatomical reactions in a manner than makes me delightfully uncomfortable.

Sara has all the tools for a big breakout hottie, I’m starting at two of those tools now. That faptastic body and bosom and those alluring looks lead me to believe that Sharktopus 2 can’t possible be far behind. Enjoy.



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Babes… Kimberley Garner Bikini Top and Short Shorts Hotness on the Blades in Santa Monica

April 23rd, 2014

Kimberley Garner in a Bikini Top and Shorts Rollerblading in Santa Monica Kimberley Garner in a Bikini Top and Shorts Rollerblading in Santa Monica Kimberley Garner in a Bikini Top and Shorts Rollerblading in Santa Monica Kimberley Garner in a Bikini Top and Shorts Rollerblading in Santa Monica Kimberley Garner in a Bikini Top and Shorts Rollerblading in Santa Monica Kimberley Garner in a Bikini Top and Shorts Rollerblading in Santa Monica Kimberley Garner in a Bikini Top and Shorts Rollerblading in Santa Monica

Whoa, Britty hottie Kimberley Garner with her naturally petite boobtastic and her sweet little booty is now on our own left coast on a pair of roller blades looking all kinds os passion inducing. For those of you who love the ladies lovely and pretty and as Mother Nature made them, you’d be hard pressed to find a better example of sextastic princess than Kimberley Garner. You start putting her in her little pink bikini tops and short shorts on wheels, and she suddenly turns into a vision of classic faptastic.

I’m all for incredibly hot looking ladies from around the world coming to a beach near me in their little exhibitionist get-ups and smiling and laughing and pretending I’m not staring directly at them like they’re on fire. For, in my mind, they are burning hot. And I do stare. Because I’m a concerned citizen and somebody needs to check for safety hazards. Enjoy.



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Babes… Olivia Munn Nipple Slip; Now That’s What I Call A Meal

April 23rd, 2014

Olivia Munn Cleavy Nip Slip in Allure Magazine May 2014 Olivia Munn Cleavy Nip Slip in Allure Magazine May 2014 Olivia Munn Cleavy Nip Slip in Allure Magazine May 2014 Olivia Munn Cleavy Nip Slip in Allure Magazine May 2014 Olivia Munn Cleavy Nip Slip in Allure Magazine May 2014 Olivia Munn Cleavy Nip Slip in Allure Magazine May 2014

It’s just about time for Allure magazine to come out with their annual edition of almost-nekkid celebrity hotties, one of my favorite new Spring traditions. But why not ease into it with a behind the scenes like at Olivia Munn shooting for Allure and accidentally being caught with her nipple baring out of her braless top. Oh, it’s there alright, you just need to look. No, I’m not holding your hand on this one. You’re a big boy, you’ll find it.

Olivia Munn has been delighting us for several years now. Even though she moved out of fanboy status and into the network and big league spotlight, casting off much of what we loved about her, there’s no denying she’s still an Egotastic favorite. You throw in some bare Munn nipple and you can call her super favorite today. Everyday is somebody’s birthday around here. Enjoy.



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Babes… Behati Prinsloo Remains Incredibly Alluring in Lingerie

April 22nd, 2014

Behati Prinsloo Hot in Victoria's Secret Shoot for April 2014 Behati Prinsloo Hot in Victoria's Secret Shoot for April 2014 Behati Prinsloo Hot in Victoria's Secret Shoot for April 2014 Behati Prinsloo Hot in Victoria's Secret Shoot for April 2014 Behati Prinsloo Hot in Victoria's Secret Shoot for April 2014 Behati Prinsloo Hot in Victoria's Secret Shoot for April 2014 Behati Prinsloo Hot in Victoria's Secret Shoot for April 2014

Yep, Behati Prinsloo is still my favorite Namibian girl, hands down. This whole Adam Levine thing shook me for a while. But if I’m going to dismiss girls that are with or have been with the likes of Adam Levin and John Mayer and David Spade, I’m going to lose half of my secret lust crush list and I can’t abide that.

So, I’ll ignore the romantic entanglements and just return to how I first fell completely superficially in love with Behati Prinsloo, seeing her posing in little bits of silk and lace as she is once more for Victoria’s Secret. She really does have that excellent combination of coquettish looks and a very grown up barely covered body. I think I’m in love all over again. Adam Levine, you bastard. Oops. Enjoy.



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Celebrity Babes – Sammy Braddy’s Sexy Lingerie Pictures

April 22nd, 2014

Sammy Braddy

Sammy Braddy here may not be as big a name as some of her fellow busty Brits like Lucy Pinder or Alice Goodwin, but so what? Because she’s definitely just as big in the funbag department, which is all that matters in my book. Anyway, I have a feeling Sammy is going to become a lot better known after this post, and if she wants to thank me for that, I’d love to take her motorboating sometime, even if I’m a little worried I might drown in those things. I figure it’s worth the risk.

Sammy Braddy Pictures Sammy Braddy Pictures Sammy Braddy Pictures Sammy Braddy Pictures Sammy Braddy Pictures

Hollywoodtuna

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Babes… Go Big Or Go Home: Tessa Fowler Topless Green Bikini Tease for a Ta-Ta Tuesday

April 22nd, 2014

Tessa Fowler Topless in a Tiny Green Bikini Tessa Fowler Topless in a Tiny Green Bikini Tessa Fowler Topless in a Tiny Green Bikini Tessa Fowler Topless in a Tiny Green Bikini Tessa Fowler Topless in a Tiny Green Bikini Tessa Fowler Topless in a Tiny Green Bikini Tessa Fowler Topless in a Tiny Green Bikini

Last week I had a lengthy discussion with my friend Donnie the Weasel over whether or not funbags could be too big. I didn’t bring it up, Donnie did, but he also brought over the Coors Party Ball, so who am I to not let him have his say. Two grown men sitting around discussing whether or not boobs can be too large seems pretty damn weak, but a couple of three or nine Coors can help put an edge on an otherwise relatively lame conversation. My conclusion as always was that Donnie needs a real girlfriend and I need to stop drinking the same beer I drank in high school. Albeit, free beer remains forever the best brand.

I’ll let you decide for your own-self if there is a too big as you lay your peeps upon the prominently plump chestal goodies on glamour model Tessa Fowler. We’ve somehow missed Tessa in the past, which is an achievement of dubious sorts given her ample and then some bosom. Personally, I’ve been chasing glorious hooters of all shapes and sizes my entire life and I don’t intend to quit any time soon. I just love the ladies and their fantastic parts. What can I say, they complete me. Enjoy.



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Babes… Ariana Grande Hot So Hot She’s Damn Hot for the Cover of Her New Single

April 22nd, 2014

Ariana Grande Sextastic Posing for Problem Single Cover Art Ariana Grande Sextastic Posing for Problem Single Cover Art

Wow, somebody is getting all grown up and it is most definitely not me. Try hot former teen TV starlet now young 20-something singer, actress, and a around sextastic lovely passion inducer Ariana Grande. She has a new single coming out, apparently. I’m sure it will be double triple musically amazing. I’m not going to listen. But I am going to leer incessantly at the album art and photoshoot by Jones Crow that Ariana took for her album art. Single art. Music art, whatever you call it in the age of digital downloads, it’s damn hot.

Ariana is slowly moving into the adult phase of her career. And I don’t mean adult entertainment, though I certainly wish that were true. I mean slinky dresses and grown up makeup and poses not necessarily allowed by Nickelodeon censors. It’s not quite lingerie selfies like Jennette, but if that day ever comes, look for me in aisle where they’re calling for a major cleanup. Enjoy.


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Babes… Eva Longoria Leggy Strutting Lovely Latina Seductress With a Large Bag

April 22nd, 2014

Eva Longoria Leggy in a Short White Dress in Hollywood Eva Longoria Leggy in a Short White Dress in Hollywood Eva Longoria Leggy in a Short White Dress in Hollywood Eva Longoria Leggy in a Short White Dress in Hollywood Eva Longoria Leggy in a Short White Dress in Hollywood Eva Longoria Leggy in a Short White Dress in Hollywood Eva Longoria Leggy in a Short White Dress in Hollywood

I’ve really missed Eva Longoria. I’m not exactly sure where she’s been of late, but we’ve seen little of the most eligible bachelorette of late, which makes me sad, as a child who has dropped his ice cream cone on the ground. For any time we lose sight of our eye candy, it’s a melancholy time. Especially when that candy is sultry and Latina and single and hot and leggy and showing off her gams in a summer dress in Hollywood.

Oh, Eva, the things we would do together. Like expensive shopping trips where I’d suddenly forget my wallet and you’d have to pay for all the beautiful lingerie I was treating you too. We would have so much fun seeing just how passion inducing you could be with just your shapely calves running across my good touch bad touch regions. Eva, now that you’re back in town, call me. Let’s get a Starbucks and some organic lubricants. Enjoy.



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Babes… Joey Fisher Udderly Delicious Behind the Scenes of Her Topless Shoot

April 21st, 2014

Joey Fisher Nuts Topless Striptease Screencaps Joey Fisher Nuts Topless Striptease Screencaps Joey Fisher Nuts Topless Striptease Screencaps Joey Fisher Nuts Topless Striptease Screencaps Joey Fisher Nuts Topless Striptease Screencaps Joey Fisher Nuts Topless Striptease Screencaps Joey Fisher Nuts Topless Striptease Screencaps

Joey Fisher really is starting to climb the charges of my busty brunette Britty glamour model charts. Yes, there’s a chart. It’s a 3-D bar chart and it sits on my table to remind me that I once took an Excel class and the only thing I’ve ever done with it is make charts about faptastic full funbags. Though I knew that going into the class.

Joey is featured in video stills from behind the scenes of her latest Nuts magazine photoshoot and baring all kinds of outrageously ripe melons dangling from her lovely lady body. Her dangle is downright perfect. If you’re not dreaming of role playing Dairy Farmer Bob while peeking at Joey Fisher, you need to get your imagination maker fixed. It probably needs a reboot. Enjoy.



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Babes… Lauren Stoner Bikinis in Green for The Holiday Named After Stoners

April 21st, 2014

Lauren Stoner in a Tiny Green Bikini on Miami Beach Lauren Stoner in a Tiny Green Bikini on Miami Beach Lauren Stoner in a Tiny Green Bikini on Miami Beach Lauren Stoner in a Tiny Green Bikini on Miami Beach Lauren Stoner in a Tiny Green Bikini on Miami Beach Lauren Stoner in a Tiny Green Bikini on Miami Beach Lauren Stoner in a Tiny Green Bikini on Miami Beach

Now that everybody and their mother are legally smoking pot, it’s not nearly as cool as it used to be. In fact, people aren’t even smoking any more, they’re vaporizing in their suits at their corporate jobs. How un-rebel is that? Let’s be honest, making stuffing normal and legal makes it kind of boring. I still love a beer, but it never tasted better than when you had to convince somebody’s older brother or the guy in the alley way to buy it for you. There’s pleasure in the effort.  And speaking of pleasure in the effort, hot bikini bodied Lauren Stoner did whip out her green bikini for the annual April 20th herbalists day of celebration, When you’re name is Stoner, you can’t exactly escape this particular holiday, even in Florida which will probably be the single last state in the nation to make the dank lawful.

I’d invite Lauren Stoner to every beach party I ever hosted. Also, I’d invite nobody else. When she shows up I’ll pretend everybody else is just really late. I’ll also pretend I’m not staring directly at her hot booty and bikini body. I will fail on both fronts, but for five minutes, it’ll be the best party I ever threw. Enjoy



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Babes… Kendall Jenner, Kylie Jenner, Kelly Brook, and Bella Thorne Highlight the Hotness at Coachella Weekend Dos

April 21st, 2014

Kendall Jenner, Kylie Jenner and More at Coachella Music and Arts Festival Day 1 and 2 Kendall Jenner, Kylie Jenner and More at Coachella Music and Arts Festival Day 1 and 2 Kendall Jenner, Kylie Jenner and More at Coachella Music and Arts Festival Day 1 and 2 Kendall Jenner, Kylie Jenner and More at Coachella Music and Arts Festival Day 1 and 2 Kendall Jenner, Kylie Jenner and More at Coachella Music and Arts Festival Day 1 and 2 Kendall Jenner, Kylie Jenner and More at Coachella Music and Arts Festival Day 1 and 2 Kendall Jenner, Kylie Jenner and More at Coachella Music and Arts Festival Day 1 and 2

I must admit, I totally forgot there was a second weekend of Coachella. Maybe it was the first thousand people who felt obliged to mention they’d been to Coachella and you totally have to go to Coachella and Coachella was awesome that threw me off to the fact it was only halfway done, but, indeed, this past weekend there was a second gathering of thousands of hip hippy chicks and their boyfriends in the California desert to celebrate what is turning out to be an electronic dance music heavy musical foray. Nevertheless, the sextastic babes of Tinsel Town got into what their stylists assured them would be perfect for Coachella wardrobes and hit the VIP gated off section of the polo fields for some exhibitionism and public spectacle showtime.

Some of the second weekend hotties includes Kelly Brook, who worked hard not to show off her panties, sadly, Kylie Jenner and Kendall Jenner for a second weekend in a row showing off some skin, Bella Thorne, another teen without school concerns showed up with her big boyfriend, Diane Kruger, and others rounded out the good looking babes beneath their retro 60′s fashions. Oh, the music may have stopped, thankfully, but the visual treats will linger in the mind for some time. Which is the point of outdoor concerts in the first place. The women. Enjoy.



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